Saturday Rules v 1.0


Saturday, the best day of the week, right? Well, it is for me. It’s the one day when I can both sleep in and stay up late. It’s the one day that I have all 24 hours to spend with E.

Saturday is for festivals and weddings. Saturday is for mini-vacays when the week has been rough. Saturday is for projects that take more than an evening. For some, Saturday is religious (Catholics have had vigil mass for years; recently other Christian religions have adopted the practice, too. For Jews it is the Sabbath.) In my world, Saturday is for FUN! Hiking. Tubing. Sailing. Sight-seeing. ExpLng and loving this fun city and grand state where we live.

Recently, I was told that a retreat for a group I volunteer for will be on a Saturday. In June/July. (Did you see that word? VolUnTEER. Work for free.) Um. NO. My Saturdays are precious and few and are only reserved for things bigger than ~10 people who won’t give up their monthly happy hour (they were ~all unavailable on a Friday evening; also tough, but easier than a Saturday)…so that we don’t have to spend a sunny Saturday in a stuffy conference room doing admin work.

Of course, since I do have plans on most of those days, it kind of works itself out. They’ll be just fine without little ol’ me.

I’ve had some spoken-but-not written rules for Saturdays for a while. Now, they are getting put “to print”.

Saturday Rules v 1.0 [1]

  1. Saturdays are the most protected day of my calendar. Whatever can pull me away from having fun has to be pretty effin’ compelling.
    When I do work on a Saturday, I have a five-hour minimum. If I give up the day of fun with family and friends, I get paid well.
  2. Saturdays are not for any event lasting less than four hours.
  3. Saturdays are not usually for any event with less than 40 people in attendance.
  4. Weddings, Bar/Bat Mitzvah ceremonies/parties, QuinceaƱera parties, Sweet 16 parties, 40th birthday parties, 50th anniversary parties, etc. are the the kind of events worthy of a Saturday. Each is a once-in-a-lifetime event for the guest(s) of honor.
  5. Saturdays are also for annual events like festivals and fundraisers.

Showers – wedding & baby

Showers are the biggest offender. I will not go to Saturday showers unless it’s a giant (See Rule #3) co-ed party with beer and grilling, for example, instead of punch and lace. Babys, weddings, whatever. Showers are only a couple of hours long (See Rule #2), so they are relegated to Sunday afternoons or even “happy hour” time-slots.

These days almost no one has just one wedding shower, and almost no one has a shower just for the first baby[2]. See Rule #4.

Fair Is Fair

Now, before anyone gets all pissy at my for this:

  • I’ve been to my fair share of graduations, showers, baptisms, confirmations, and such. I was even coerced into going to not-one-but-two of my own graduations (when I had legitimate and logical reasons to miss both.)
  • At a family wedding last fall, one newphew stood with the groom while his wife/son were at her brother’s wedding in a different state. If weddings get double-booked for the same family, imagine what happens when a less important event (like a shower) is added to the mix.
  • I still host family showers, even when I can’t attend. I pitch in my share of the money and do some of the prep work. I’m just not there on the day of.
  • Why would anyone want a guest to attend who didn’t want to be there?
    I know I never want that. (And in fact told that to a would-be-party-crasher for Luzaween. Him: “We’ve been at the game all day. We’re hot and tired and just want to drink.” Me: “Well this is a costume party, and if you don’t arrive in costume, you’ll be forced to wear a loser costume or asked to leave.” …with an implied “I’ve met you ONCE; no you can NOT bring your sweaty friends to come mooch free beer, dammit.”)
  • Speaking of Luzaween, I/we threw Luzaween (in one capacity or another from 1998 to 2008. Eek. 10 years!) Lots of people came a couple of times. Several people never came at all. That was our one thing, and now it’s gone.

These are my rules as they stand as of today.

This weekend, E and I have plans to tube the Comal River with some new ChildFree friends!

[1] Version 1.0. ’cause as sure as you make a set of rules, some dolt will test the most random exception ever and cause you to create a new rule.

[2] Baby showers are their own animal. Older women can’t stop talking about the most grotesque horror stories of childbirth they’ve ever heard. It’s not polite to the mom-to-be. And the games. gah! Gone are the days of filling in the blanks on nursery rhymes. No, we smell the “poopie diapers”, do the laundry, and measure mom’s girth. Classy.






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