Saturday, the best day of the week, right? Well, it is for me. It’s the one day when I can both sleep in and stay up late. It’s the one day that I have all 24 hours to spend with E.
Saturday is for festivals and weddings. Saturday is for mini-vacays when the week has been rough. Saturday is for projects that take more than an evening. For some, Saturday is religious (Catholics have had vigil mass for years; recently other Christian religions have adopted the practice, too. For Jews it is the Sabbath.) In my world, Saturday is for FUN! Hiking. Tubing. Sailing. Sight-seeing. ExpLng and loving this fun city and grand state where we live.
Recently, I was told that a retreat for a group I volunteer for will be on a Saturday. In June/July. (Did you see that word? VolUnTEER. Work for free.) Um. NO. My Saturdays are precious and few and are only reserved for things bigger than ~10 people who won’t give up their monthly happy hour (they were ~all unavailable on a Friday evening; also tough, but easier than a Saturday)…so that we don’t have to spend a sunny Saturday in a stuffy conference room doing admin work.
Of course, since I do have plans on most of those days, it kind of works itself out. They’ll be just fine without little ol’ me.
I’ve had some spoken-but-not written rules for Saturdays for a while. Now, they are getting put “to print”.
Saturday Rules v 1.0 
- Saturdays are the most protected day of my calendar. Whatever can pull me away from having fun has to be pretty effin’ compelling.
When I do work on a Saturday, I have a five-hour minimum. If I give up the day of fun with family and friends, I get paid well.
- Saturdays are not for any event lasting less than four hours.
- Saturdays are not usually for any event with less than 40 people in attendance.
- Weddings, Bar/Bat Mitzvah ceremonies/parties, Quinceañera parties, Sweet 16 parties, 40th birthday parties, 50th anniversary parties, etc. are the the kind of events worthy of a Saturday. Each is a once-in-a-lifetime event for the guest(s) of honor.
- Saturdays are also for annual events like festivals and fundraisers.
Showers – wedding & baby
Showers are the biggest offender. I will not go to Saturday showers unless it’s a giant (See Rule #3) co-ed party with beer and grilling, for example, instead of punch and lace. Babys, weddings, whatever. Showers are only a couple of hours long (See Rule #2), so they are relegated to Sunday afternoons or even “happy hour” time-slots.
These days almost no one has just one wedding shower, and almost no one has a shower just for the first baby. See Rule #4.
Fair Is Fair
Now, before anyone gets all pissy at my for this:
- I’ve been to my fair share of graduations, showers, baptisms, confirmations, and such. I was even coerced into going to not-one-but-two of my own graduations (when I had legitimate and logical reasons to miss both.)
- At a family wedding last fall, one newphew stood with the groom while his wife/son were at her brother’s wedding in a different state. If weddings get double-booked for the same family, imagine what happens when a less important event (like a shower) is added to the mix.
- I still host family showers, even when I can’t attend. I pitch in my share of the money and do some of the prep work. I’m just not there on the day of.
- Why would anyone want a guest to attend who didn’t want to be there?
I know I never want that. (And in fact told that to a would-be-party-crasher for Luzaween. Him: “We’ve been at the game all day. We’re hot and tired and just want to drink.” Me: “Well this is a costume party, and if you don’t arrive in costume, you’ll be forced to wear a loser costume or asked to leave.” …with an implied “I’ve met you ONCE; no you can NOT bring your sweaty friends to come mooch free beer, dammit.”)
- Speaking of Luzaween, I/we threw Luzaween (in one capacity or another from 1998 to 2008. Eek. 10 years!) Lots of people came a couple of times. Several people never came at all. That was our one thing, and now it’s gone.
These are my rules as they stand as of today.
This weekend, E and I have plans to tube the Comal River with some new ChildFree friends!
 Version 1.0. ’cause as sure as you make a set of rules, some dolt will test the most random exception ever and cause you to create a new rule.
 Baby showers are their own animal. Older women can’t stop talking about the most grotesque horror stories of childbirth they’ve ever heard. It’s not polite to the mom-to-be. And the games. gah! Gone are the days of filling in the blanks on nursery rhymes. No, we smell the “poopie diapers”, do the laundry, and measure mom’s girth. Classy.