If you have something to ask/say about me, please say it to me. If I feel comfortable sharing with you, I will. If I can’t or won’t, then I’ll politely decline.
Asking someone else personal questions behind my back is not cool. Asking her for anonymity is cowardly and diminishes the level of friendship we supposedly have.
And to the confidant: please do not engage in these types of conversation. Direct them to ask me. If they aren’t comfortable doing so, then we aren’t close enough friends to share such things.