Years ago, a then-boyfriend who worked at a radio station made me a mix recording. It was special/different because he had access to a mixer (oooohhhh fade ins and fade outs loooong before the likes of iTunes!!) and he included several comedian/comedienne shorts that the station had received for use during breaks and in between songs/commercials. Included was ad series by Paula Poundstone about being in line behind someone at Subway who doesn’t know what they want. I can still hear her say “Tuna?”!
Today, at 7:50am, when “everyone” is on their way to work, some hippie-wannabe (but clearly not a real hippie) was taking tons of time to decide which scratch off lottery ticket he wanted to purchase. All the rest of us looked at each other with “can you believe this guy???” eyes. Even more aggravating was that he was in line with the new cashier. So, the other girl had to keep locking her register so she could move over to show the new girl what to do. I kid you not, there were a dozen people in line for regular/routine/everyday purchases, but we allllll had to wait for the hippie-wannabe.
Finally, he makes his selection, pays, and leaves. The rest of us sigh in relief from the anxiety of being late to the things we have to do. (I, for example, had an 8am portrait session on campus.)
I KID YOU NOT: in the time he took to get to his car, the rest of us (all ~12) paid and left the counter!
So, for those of you who misplaced the center of the Universe. I know where you can find it! It’s in Bryan, Texas….specifically in 77807 near the corner of 2818 and Villa Maria!
and to paraphase from Paula Poundstone:
When your number is up at the deli counter, you better know what you want.