Twice/again? Cruel!

Five years ago, our brother-in-law Pat died. He was one of the family favorites, and at just 43, he was one of the youngest. That’s hard enough, but his death came on Thursday before his only daughter’s wedding on Sunday. As a wedding photographer, I could never imagine something so tragic for a bride and groom…and here I was faced with it not only for a client, but also for family. And, it was a loss that hit me hard, too. There were some very rough days from his death, to the wedding (where our niece’s brothers, God father, and grandfather took the traditional father roles), to the funeral a week later when the couple returned from their honeymoon. This was probably the 2nd most difficult death I have ever had to deal with. It hit E’s sister, Pam, hard too, of course. She and Pat were high school sweethearts and had been together for 25 years. They adored Maegan’s fiance and were embracing wedding planning and the impending Big Day with gusto and love.

fast forward to 2010

Last week, Pam’s boyfriend, Scott, passed away suddenly. Scott was the only other partner in Pam’s life, and according to the minister at the funeral today, Pam was the love of Scott’s life. Scott was only 47.

Scott’s parents are now childless after the loss of their daughter several years ago. They had to deal with the loss of a child not once, but twice? How terribly sad.

Pam is in her 40s. To lose two partners by such a young age is a slap in the face; the crappy timing—just before a wedding, and again against the holidays—is just one for the other cheek. I know there is never a good time, but this is combo nothing short of cruel.

It’s no wonder I lost all faith/religion.

Yesterday’s visitation and today’s graveside service were nice. I hope it can help give Scott’s family and friends some closure and help them start healing. Funerals don’t do much of anything to help me grieve (one of the many reasons why I don’t want one for myself, but that shall be another post at another time), but I know some find comfort in the process.

If you knew Scott or know Pam, the family has asked that donations to the charity of your choice be made in lieu of flowers.

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